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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

One Badass Granny

This was one hell of a night.  Tons of patients.  Full waiting room.  One ambulance after another.  And it wasn't your every day, run of the mill, group of complaints.  Every single patient was sick as shit.

I was triaging that night in our pull 'til full (a system of immediate bedding for patients with triage at bedside) ER.  A lady was brought in by EMS from a nursing home with altered mental status.

One of the first things we do for that here is get a urine sample for a UA.  Also, we will usually get an IV going so that meds like Ativan can be administered easily via IV.  Awesome plan.

Well, this 93 year old lady, who probably weighed less than her age, seemed to have super human strength, as it took about six of us to hold her down for the IV and the Foley that we were putting in.  The whole time, she's screaming at us.  She's dropping f-bombs, cussing us out, and telling us to go to hell.

Then, she suddenly looks at her primary nurse (the one putting in the catheter) and says, "I hope your mother dies, goes to hell, and Satan eats out her p**sy!!!" in one of the most satanic voices I've ever heard.


  1. She was probably a nurse!! Haven't you ever thought about it? If we get dementia, we'll remember every cuss word we've ever heard, plus we'll be able to escape from any restraint they put on us!!!