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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

You Don't Have That Right

When you come to the ER, you have a right to be seen.  For better or worse, it's the law.

That doesn't mean that the ER is free health care.  It isn't Burger King.  It's not your way, right away.

Also, coming to the ER does not give you the right to be an asshole.

I know you don't feel good and that you aren't exactly in the best mood.  But, please, don't start bitching at me every time I come into the room to do something.  Don't tell me how unhappy you are or how this is bullshit or how you haven't eaten in 10 hours (you've only been here 3 hours, so what were you doing the rest of the day?) or how the ER stretchers are uncomfortable or how much you hate the doctors, nurses, techs, etc.  If you do want to vent, that's fine.  Get it out of your system once, then let's move on with our time together. But, if you are going to bitch and moan every time I come into the room, I am not going to want to come into the room anymore.  I am going to avoid you like the plague.  I will delay coming to see you for as looooong as I possibly can.

So, if you think being a dickhead will make us really step up our game and provide you that exceptional care you're craving, then you're wrong. . . It makes us hate you.  It makes our sympathy level plummet.

It makes me want to punch you in your throat.  That was specifically covered in nursing school under the "what not to do" column, but keep it up douche-nozzle. . .  Just keep it up. . .

1 comment:

  1. Assuming we've ruled out a change in behavior due to neuro problems, I tend to just ask them,
    "Hey, when you act like you're acting now at someplace like a restaurant, have you noticed that your burger always tastes a lot like spit?"

    I treat every patient like I'd treat a friend, until they flash their Official @$$hole ID card.

    After that, I try to give them all the privileges of membership that card entitles them to.

    And if they get bad enough, I've fired patients. There's nothing wrong and everything right with telling the charge nurse that my continued caring for Patient A. Hole has terminated any ability to give therapeutic care unless a mahogany shampoo with a nightstick is allowed, and that I'd be happy to trade him/her for any other patient in the department, or swap areas with any other nurse, but that I will no longer enter that room as long as it's occupied by Mr./Ms. Hole, because I don't feel safe/comfortable/whatever psychobabble-JCAHO Happygas answer is necessary to make the point, including I'm about to kill them, slowly and while laughing maniacally, and the reasons why the jury will side with me.

    (And for the record, I've tended to get the patients who've been "fired" by anywhere from 1-3 other nurses, so I'm not being a crybaby about it, and when someone gets my buttons pushed, the next step is usually either a security escort to the door, or a pillow to the face until the frantic kicking and twitching stops, and sometimes both - not necessarily in that order.)

    Always remember the advice from the Japanese POW camp commander in "Bridge Over The River Kwai":

    "Be happy in your work."