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Thursday, April 11, 2013

And Theeeeeeeennnnn?

*Walks in to patient room who came in EMS after hearing ludicrous tale from triage nurse about patient's chief complaint*
NurseHubba: So, what brings you in today?
Energizer Rabbit Of Complaints: My blood sugar's really high.
NurseHubba: Okay, what was your blo --
Energizer Rabbit: And my stomach hurts
   . . . And I'm nauseous
   . . . And I have a headache
   . . . And I'm having chest pain
   . . . And I'm short of breath
   . . . And my shoulder hurts
   . . . And I'm experiencing symptoms of appendicitis
   . . . And I think I have a kidney stone
   . . . And I think I have a urinary tract infection
   . . . And a yeast infection
   . . . And I'm having some rectal bleeding
   . . . And my back hurts
   . . . And I'm pretty sure I'm dehydrated 
So, I guess the better question to ask her is, "what doesn't bring you in?"

1 comment:

  1. There are patients on whom I'm happy to be pro-active, and get in the room before the doc, and have everything cooking they'll order.

    And then there are the patients where I document all the complaints, give a 5-second thumbnail heads up, and say "You're on your own, Doc. I'll be right outside if you need me."

    This would be the second type.

    But in walk-in triage, the rule of thumb is that anyone with more than 5 CCs gets sent to fast track, unless a psych eval seems closer to the bullseye.