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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Wait. . . So, WHY Are You Here?

From my co-worker, Nurse FunnyBone (this is around 11pm):

*Chief Complaint: Left Shoulder Injury*

*Oh, and New Doc ordered a complete cardiac workup on this one*
Nurse FunnyBone: Ok, ma'am.  I have some Toradol for your pain.
Evolving Complaint Lady (without looking away from television, and with perfectly flat affect):  Toradol?  *Grrrooooooaaaaaaan*. . . . Oh, my mouth hurts sooooooo baaaaaad.  It's unbearable.
Nurse FunnyBone: Mouth pain?  What kind of pain?  Teeth?  Gums?  
Evolving Complaint Lady (still staring at TV): I don't know, but it's easily 10+ out of 10 pain.
Nurse FunnyBone: Ok. . . Well, I'll let the doc know. . .
*New Doc finds nothing wrong with her mouth, but FunnyBone and I were both surprised she didn't order a CTA and maybe even a central line.
Nurse FunnyBone: Ma'am, I have some Tylenol for your mouth pain.
No sandwich!  You STOP that!
Evolving Complaint Lady (again, without looking away from TV): Tylenol?  Well, can I at least have a sandwich?  I haven't eaten since noon.
Nurse FunnyBone: No, ma'am.  We don't have food down here.  Besides, wouldn't chewing aggravate your mouth pain?
Evolving Complaint Lady: Meh.
*To her credit, New Doc didn't cave and give any narcotic prescriptions either.  She's really good about that.  Lady was definitely not happy about that, though!

1 comment:

  1. "Sorry ma'am, your medical record says you're allergic to turkey sandwiches and jello, which is all we have.
    Of course, if you'd like to visit medical records from 9A-5P M-F, and fill out a request in triplicate to change your records, I'm sure they'll be happy to process that change in 6-10 weeks. Until then, my hands are tied."

    Like Calvin told Hobbes about the monsters under his bed:
    "They lie. I lie."