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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Go Home Now. . .

*Lady comes in via EMS.  EMS guys have a look of sheer irritation on their faces.  The paramedic pulls me aside and tells me that they don't know what the hell her problem is.  She called EMS out for one thing, told the guys another story when they got there and kept changing her story during the ride.  No pain, stable vitals, no injury, patient is perfectly calm, alert and oriented, and doesn't seem like a psych patient to them. . . just a pain in the ass.
NurseHubba: Ok, Ma'am.  What brings you in tonight?
Not Sure What To Name Her: My legs!  Look at them!
NurseHubba: Ma'am, I don't see anything with your legs.  Did you fall?  Hurt yourself in any way?  What's going on?
Not Sure What To Name Her: MY. LEGS.
NurseHubba: You're going to have to tell me exactly what the problem is.  I don't see anything wrong with your legs.
*She sits up and points to three tiiiiiiiny, tiny, tiny little bumps.  Two on one leg and one on the other.
Not Sure What To Name Her: Can't you see those?!?!
NurseHubba: Ma'am, those look like mosquito bites.
Not Sure What To Name Her: Well, they're not! 
NurseHubba: Ok, tell me about them.
Not Sure What To Name Her: I was sitting outside on my porch since the weather's been getting nice.  I was wearing these same shorts.  Suddenly, I noticed that my legs were a little itchy.  I went to scratch and found that there were these little bumps in the same spots my legs were itching!
NurseHubba: You know mosquito season is starting, right?  Those really seem like mosquito bites to me.
Not Sure What To Name Her: Nothing bit me!  I didn't feel anything bite me!
NurseHubba: Do you normally feel mosquitos bite you?
Not Sure What To Name Her: Of course not!  Don't be ridiculous!
NurseHubba: Ok.  The doctor will be in to see you shortly.
Not Sure What To Name Her: Oh, something else too!  I felt like I might, possibly go into A.fib later.  
NurseHubba: Do you have a history of A.fib?
Not Sure What To Name Her: No.

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