Dr. Discharge: Well, all her labs look good. Urine is clean. She has a history of Alzheimer's that's been getting worse over the years. I can't find anything acute going on. We're going to go ahead and send her back to the nursing home now.
*The nursing home, for once, didn't think she needed to come in but the family insisted*
Family: What about her confusion?
Dr. Discharge: She's been confused for years and, I hate to break it to you, but she's only going to continue to get worse.
Family: What about her shaky hands?
Dr. Discharge: She's had Parkinson's for years. . .
Family: What about her high blood pressure?
Dr. Discharge: She's had that for years too and is on medication.
Family: But it's too high!
Dr. Discharge: It's 140/90. It's a little elevated, but the doc at the home can take care of a med adjustment.
Family: What about --
Dr. Discharge (giving me the look that he's about to lose patience): Look, there isn't anything going on that hasn't been going on for years. There's no emergency. There's no acute illness. This is an EMERGENCY room. We can't fix or test for every little thing that is going on. Unfortunately, there's no magic pill or procedure that's going to fix everything she's got going on. She's ninety-nine. She's got to see her primary doc at the home.*Dr. Discharge walks out*
Family (Great, now their attention is on me): Well, where did he go to medical school?!?! He's the worst doctor I've ever seen!
Some people have no idea. . .